This is about the boy that jumped. With rocks in his backpack, getting ready for the fall, hoping to never come back. You succeeded. I wish you hadn’t. I wish you didn’t take the phrase “don’t think, just do” so literally. For your sake I hope you aren’t in pain anymore. At 16 you had clearly been through enough.
I’m going to apologize on behalf of everyone that made you take that extra step closer to that edge. I’m sorry on behalf of all the people that stood by and watched as your depression took over your mind and the suicidal thoughts never took the time to give you a break.
Maybe if they had stopped for more than a second you would have realized that this world is more than what greets your eyes. I’m here to say that even though I never met you, you were important. And it all would have turned out more than okay. You had so much to offer.
I know there is more than one person to blame. How about the nurses and doctors who turned you away. They didn’t help you when you asked to be put in a room to stay until the thoughts pass. They didn’t try to help you when you said that you hadn’t felt the light inside you for months and you don’t even know where the switch to turn them on is anymore. Or when you said that the end is all you can see now. The end seems like the only way you can be free now.
You were never alone in this fight for happiness. I understand what it’s like to feel like you don’t have any. You weren’t the only one searching for acceptance. Somedays it all seems pointless. Like all the mundane tasks are worthless and that’s how people make you feel. Worthless. But as you get older you realize it was all worth it because life always gets better. I hate that you didn’t live long enough to see that.
Your worth doesn’t ever decrease. You were equally as valuable as the day you were born. No matter whatever you did or whatever anyone ever said to you you were still priceless and loved.
You know that you died right near my house? I wish that you had stopped by first. Maybe we could have talked and maybe you would have understood that complete strangers care about you. Every life is important and you were never excluded from that.
The police surrounded your body. You didn’t give yourself a chance, you landed on concrete. I guess that was the objective right? I wish I could have silenced all the people that hurt you. And all I have the chance to say now is rest in peace.
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